There's so much I never knew...

The Addictive Personality:
Understanding the Addictive Process and Compulsive Behavior
By Craig Nakken / Hazelden; 2nd edition

Just when I think I'm getting out, they pull me back in! The many aspects of the addictive personality are complex and TRICKY. The chances of understanding how it all works, apart from an excellent book like this, are remote.

The addictive personality that develops within some of us, replaces the "true" self and will go to great lengths to survive, even giving-up one addiction for another, just to remain in control.

I am so glad I read this book. It gives a clear view of what the addict is up against in his efforts to regain control of his life. BONUS! Craig Nakken also discusses the tools that are available and necessary to put the addictive personality in it's place and keep it there.

This book covers a lot of technical information, but does so in a way that is easy to understand, yet still valuable for professional therapists or just folks who are struggling as an addict or someone who loves an addict. There is so much incredible information in these 120 pages, it's not surprising that the book has sold over 100,000 copies. Truthfully, it deserves to be even more widely read.

Maybe NOT...

The Truth About Same-Sex Marriage:
6 Things You Need to Know About What's Really at Stake

By Erwin W. Lutzer / Moody Publishers

I like Erwin Lutzer. I think he is a great speaker and writer. There are, however, several statements in this book with which I must take issue.

First, he starts from the point of view that homosexuality is a choice. I am so tired of hearing the term "sexual preference," as if people could choose their sexual orientation. Nobody who has actually talked to a gay person could actually believe this. I'm sorry, it just isn't true, no matter how much we might like it to be.

When discussing whether homosexuals can change and become heterosexual, he points to several ministries and "thousands of testimonies" from those who have had their desires transformed. He says that gays write-off these stories by saying that the individuals involved were never truly homosexual. Again, anyone who has actually spoken to a gay person knows that is untrue. Gays and other reasonable minded people believe that they are living in denial, not that they were never gay to begin with.

The research overall is sloppy. Lutzer depends exclusively on sources who agree with him and ignores sources that might have a view that is different than his own. Worst of all, he attempts to incite panic and fear among evangelicals over the prospect of legalized gay marriage. He has no proof of the disaster he foretells. Lutzer does not provide documentation from countries in Europe where gay marriage has been legal for many years with no ill effects to "traditional" marriage.

I know that this is a volatile issue and that feelings run strong on both sides of the debate. Unfortunately, this book cannot be seen as help for reasonable people who want to follow Jesus and "do the right thing."